About the Author

Thule Taaffe

Thule Taaffe is a seventh-generation Arkansan. Milk & Catfishis the first of a series of novels about the Consortium, a group of retired men who spend their mornings drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and solving the world's problems.

“Thule Taaffe does for Arkansas what Carl Hiaasen did for Florida. MILK AND CATFISH is a hoot!”
— Eli Cranor, bestselling author of BROILER

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Vintage portrait of James Kearney Taaffe, the author's great-great-great grandfather — The author's great-great-great grandfather, James Kearney Taaffe, born on August 14, 1830 in Paraclifta, Arkansas Territory.

As featured in

Arkansas Democrat Online — Check it out →

The Books

The novels of the Paraclifta Consortium — newest first.

Newest Book

Scientifica Paracliftius

Science That People Can Agree On

Thule's latest book tells the remarkable story of the brave men in Paraclifta who are committed to publicizing the scientific truths that people can agree on. The men create their own magazine that dares to examine some of the most important scientific topics of our time such as: How many donuts is too many donuts? What's better for you: Vaping or Smoking? Charcoal grills and gas grills both have their own benefits. But do you know which one should be better to use if you're drunk? The environmental benefits of machine guns. It's proven that fluoride doesn't help your teeth, but what are some things that it does do? How come sometimes when you dig a hole, there's too much dirt to go back in it and other times there's not enough? Scientifica Paracliftius is a hilarious story about the war on science and the slow death of American journalism (and gun control). What could be funnier?

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Third Book

Yellow Jaundice

The Battle of the Boondocks

Yellow Jaundice is the hilarious tale about the most heated football rivalry in the South. Not only is the game part of a bitter feud between rival towns, it becomes the first high school game to be shown as a live broadcast. Luckily, the men of the Consortium save the day after a foul plague threatens to upend the contest.

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Second Book

Don't Never Dead Head

A Novel of the Paraclifta Consortium

The Paraclifta Consortium - made up of a hardware store owner and four of his retired buddies in the small town of Paraclifta, Arkansas, in 1982 - finds itself in the middle of a colossal town feud over what to do about a Civil War statue damaged in a tornado. In less than a week, the whole episode spins wildly out of control and draws in everyone from a US Congressman and local officials to outside agitators and both of the town's cafes. Like Milk and Catfish, this book is a comical story, full of irony and sarcasm, about people coming back together despite the trivial issues that seem to keep us divided.

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First Book

Milk and Catfish

A Novel about Rumors and Deer Hunting and Rumors about Deer Hunting

It all started with a little white lie…

What could possibly go wrong?

Turns out A LOT.

Why do people subscribe to crazy conspiracy theories, distrust the government and refuse to get vaccinated against deadly diseases? What could possibly lead American citizens to attack the U.S. Capitol? Milk & Catfish is an allegory of modern America which uses humor and satire to address these serious questions. Before social media, conspiracy theories were spread by word of mouth. In 1980, a group of retired men concoct a harmless deer-hunting story to demonstrate the dangers of false rumors. When their scheme backfires, it has a profound impact on their small southern town and eventually invokes action by corrupt politicians, greedy executives, a retired midget wrestler, and a glamorous television reporter. Along the way, a retail store decides to replace paper bags with plastic sacks and animal rights activists and an Indian tribe try to cancel deer season altogether. Milk & Catfish takes aim at social media, special interest groups and capitalism. It is an inspirational tale about the trivial issues that have historically created divisions in America. Nobody who reads Milk & Catfish, would ever want to storm the U.S. Capitol. Nobody.

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Welcome to

Paraclifta

Small Town Arkansas

Two cafés — and nobody eats at both.

Every Thule Taaffe novel unfolds in the small southern town of Paraclifta, Arkansas — a place where the coffee is black, deer season can close the school, and the two cafés never take the same side of anything. Everything below comes straight from the pages of Milk and Catfish.

Meet the Consortium

A hardware-store owner and four of his retired buddies who spend their mornings drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and solving the world's problems.

John D. Dalrymple

Hardware store owner

Calm, serious, and “super-duper-stitious” — he once rerouted his entire morning drive rather than cross paths with a black cat.

Evelray Manchester

Retired master plumber

A proud skeptic who trusts only facts and evidence — and who never misses a Monday-night broadcast of professional wrestling.

Weaver Gillham

Retired electrician

Tall, quiet, and wise; tends what's widely considered the best vegetable garden in the county. Owns fifty-three firearms.

Buddy Wayne Pike

Retired carpenter

Wears bib overalls daily and can name every species of tree in the county. Survived two heart attacks and a circular saw — down three and a half fingers.

Frank "Frogeye" Polk

Amateur meteorologist

Has kept hand-written weather journals for fifty-one years and is never bashful about engaging in a little gossip.

Paraclifta, by the Numbers

Fewer than three thousand souls — the kind of town where everybody knows everybody, and you can judge a man's importance by how many keys dangle from his belt.
Two restaurants, secretly owned by the same man — and every resident must pick one and avoid the other for life.
The only institutions that outnumber the deer camps are the Baptist churches.
Exactly three TV channels (two from Shreveport, one from Little Rock); the local news is The Nonagon News at Six on Channel Nine — a nonagon being a nine-sided figure.
Settled rulings of the Consortium: the best vegetable is the tomato, the most versatile is the potato, golf is not a sport, and the tastiest game animal is the duck.
During the first week of deer season the sawmill, the businesses, and even the school shut down so everyone can hunt.

Paraclifta and its residents are works of satire from the novels of Thule Taaffe.

Where to Buy

Secure your copy of Thule Taaffe's greatest works.

WordsWorth Books

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Barnes & Noble

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Want to reach out to Thule Taaffe?

Drop a line. He reads everything between the morning coffee and the afternoon nap.